Microsoft Makes
Move into
Philanthropic
Market

Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda French Gates, are merging their two charitable foundations and committing an additional $6 billion to create the country's largest philanthropic foundation.
The new entity, called the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, will boast a $17.1 billion endowment and target the all important health and education market segments around the world. The venture combines the William H. Gates Foundation, created in 1994 and the Gates Learning Foundation, which was created in 1997.
Recipients of the donations will be required to participate in Microsoft's new BBAP tm marketing program.
BBAP tm consists of the implantation of a BDU tm (Bio Display Unit) onto the exterior of the chest cavity.
The BDU tm features a 12x9 color LCD screen running Windows CE 3.0. Each BDU tm represents the state of the art in wireless communications. Participants must obtain 5,000 CPM per day and give Microsoft's BDU tm prominent placement on the chest-top or face reversal of treatment.
"Time and time again, we have risen to the challenge of change. While banner ad revenue has continued to slide, there has been a huge increase in Advertising spending on the whole. We feel that BBAP has the potential to generate untold new revenue for Microsoft and position us at the top of the mobile computing industry while generating new revenue streams." stated Gates.
"This is a very shrewd move on Microsoft's part. CE has been unable to surplant the grip that the PalmOS has had on the portable market. Microsoft's creation of an entirely new class of portable will give them an incredible headstart. And saturation, Do you know how many fucking people are in India??? There's got to be like... a friggin billion." stated Phil Landers, a day trading bus driver.
A young indian named Baskari (MS-001-BAPP-OEM-97890) who was asked how it felt to be on the cutting edge of new media replied, "Buy Affice 2000, I don'ta want to be sick again."
Although activity has concentrated on global health and education initiatives, the foundation will continue to make contributions locally as well.